Rules for the Avengers
by Beauty4estGreen
Summary: All the chaos of all six Avengers interacting - and why they decided some things should really be forbidden. I will be adding backgrounds to each rule, don't worry ; I'd also like to point out that these rules are NOT in chronological order. Just the in order of which I came up with first.
1. The List

Avengers' Rules

#1 Clint is never to be within four feet of Thor's hair again.

#2 Agents Romanoff and Barton are only permitted to be alone in an enclosed room together if the curtains are closed, all doors are locked, and the security cameras are disabled.

#3 Tony is only allowed in the kitchen if Steve, Pepper, or Bruce is also in the room.

#4 If anyone wants food, they have to buy it themselves unless severely injured or ill.

#5 Unless it's for birth control, if Tony asks you for anything, he must provide a summary of why he wants it, backed up by JARVIS.

#6 There is no arm wrestling at the table.

#7 Steve and Thor may not have drinking competitions. Even Tony Stark can go broke.

#8 If Clint wants to cook, just let him.

#9 If Natasha wants to cook, make sure Clint's with her.

#10 Clint – see #5, backed by Coulson.

#11 Bruce may not get a dog.

#12 Tony and Clint are reserved one weekend per month to play Call of Duty.

#13 Tony may not get drunk with Natasha.

#14 Only Natasha is allowed to drive any of Tony's cars.

#15 Thor is not allowed to watch How I Met Your Mother.


	2. Introduction: When They Got There

_**Hi, guys. I'm sorry, this is just a filler chapter. I swear I WILL have Rule #1 up ASAP.**_

_**-Reyna**_

_How They Got There_

Tony wasn't used to having so many people around.

Yes, he loved parties. Yes, he attended – not to mention hosted – them regularly. Yes, they were almost always very crowded. But that was at _night_, not during the day and most _certainly_ not in the early hours of the morning.

So as soon as four of his teammates – plus Pepper – had taken up his offer to move in/visit him at Stark Tower, he realized that he'd have to adjust to them constantly being around, and adjust pretty damn fast.

Bruce was already a presence he was used to. He (reluctantly) enjoyed spending time with Tony in the towers labs, and tended to visit more and more until finally taking up a temporary permanent residence in the quarters Tony had built for him.

The next to make an appearance were the Agents. Barton had given Tony an advance warning that he was coming, so the billionaire made sure that the archer's floor – the top level, complete with a high tech shooting range and a crow's nest on the tower's roof – was ready and fully functional. What he didn't expect was that someone else would arrive before Clint. So Tony was in for a shock when he walked into the kitchen the morning before Clint showed up, bleary-eyed and in his pajamas, to get his morning coffee. What he found was Natasha Romanoff sitting in his chair, with her feet on his table, reading his paper, and drinking his coffee. She glanced up at him, and said she'd let herself in.

Tony decided he would interrogate JARVIS later.

Steve had moved in with a high level of reluctance. He made a point of making himself scarce during the day, but made an effort to spend time with the others in the evenings. He bonded especially well with Natasha. He had a rocky friendship with Pepper: sometimes they wouldn't stop talking to each other, others their equal needs to be in charge clashed violently.

With the four Avengers and Pepper living with him, Tony already thought that the tower was a little crowded. But, in a freaky way, he kind of liked it.

After a couple months, they'd all finally settled into a routine and dynamic of living together. Everyone would show up in the kitchen in their pajamas first thing in the morning for breakfast and coffee, and lazy around for an hour or two. Then they'd separate to various places. They all went to work, of course, but on days off Bruce and Tony would blow stuff up, Cap and Natasha went exploring, and Barton would either hide in the rafters and vents, or have long, semi-serious talks with JARVIS. The two latter found each other very fascinating.

In the evenings they conjugated in the main living space for 'group bonding.' This consisted of a ton of movies, TV marathons, heated debates, going out to random places, and sometimes various drinking games. After a few weeks, they became close enough that in their minds it was now called 'family time.'

And damn, were they a twisted family.

_**I get twenty reviews, Rule #1 goes up.**_


	3. Rule 1

_Rule #1: Clint is never to be within four feet of Thor's hair again._

Six months into the five of them living together found Clint, Natasha, Tony, Bruce, and Steve tired and in possession of large mugs of coffee.

The two SHIELD agents were lounging in the living room in their pajamas. They'd recently gotten back from a short but exhausting mission in Dubai, and were spending a few days regenerating from work.

Steve was absently frying up breakfast, like he normally did. The smells of bacon grease and buttery pancakes filled the place. He looked bleary-eyed, but was already dressed in jeans and a button down plaid shirt. His hair was neatly combed.

Bruce was sitting at the dining room table with Tony. He had on a denim shirt and large stretchy sweatpants. He was absently reading the morning paper.

Stark was barely dressed in his favorite work clothes: an old t-shirt and worn-in sweats. His hair was in a rat's nest. He was absorbed with his holograms that appeared to be generating out of his phone, distractedly drinking his coffee at regular intervals. Bruce experimentally dropped a piece of bacon into his mug. The man didn't even bat an eye the next time he took a long gulp.

He was so engaged that he apparently didn't even hear the phone ring.

After about thirty seconds, Steve sighed and said, "JARVIS, just pick it up."

"Right away, sir."

Immediately Agent Hill's voice filled the room. _"Attention Avengers, Thor has just arrived. I repeat, Thor as arrived. He will be at Stark Tower in about three minutes."_

Barton and Natasha continued to look half-asleep. Steve set a plate of breakfast in front of Tony and a second for Bruce, clearing away the latter's first dish. Neither man moved an inch. "Why are we hearing about this just now, Maria?" Bruce sounded mildly amused.

Hill sounded rather frustrated. (Which, come to think of it, was probably her normal voice at this point.) _"The Asgardians never give us any forewarning."_ She hung up.

Right on cue, JARVIS announced, "Sirs and Miss Romanoff, it would appear that Thor is stuck on the ground floor. He is trying to open the elevator doors."

Tony drank more bacon-coffee. "JARVIS, please explain to him where the stairs are through the loud speaker in the entry hall."

Twenty minutes later the double doors opened, and Thor walked in. He was a little out of breath. "Man of Iron, there is a strange disembodied voice in your tower."

"Eh, that's just JARVIS." Tony waved his hand dismissively. Thor raised his eyebrows. "Who?"

"Don't try to understand it, Thor. I've been trying for the past month, still getting nowhere," Steve said. "You want to help me make more breakfast? Dr. Selvig said you were an excellent cook, and Bruce is almost finished with his third plate of pancakes."

Dr. Banner didn't even look, just pointedly put another pancake in his mouth and turned the page of his newspaper.

"Yes." Thor manned the eggs and bacon, while Steve mixed more batter. Thor's long hair stuck to his fore head, which he pulled back out of his eyes.

No one saw Clint glancing between the Norse god and Natasha's red hair, which he was playing with absently.

[{line break}]

The next day was Monday. Tony was dressed for work, in a sharp grey suit, red tie, and shades, waiting for Pepper to get her briefcase. He had his favorite coffee mug in one hand and leaned against the kitchen counter with the other. He heard someone walk in mid sip, looked and almost did a spit take.

Thor made his way the fridge and got out a carton of milk. He poured himself a large glass as if everything was completely normal. He sat down and picked up the newspaper that Pepper had left on the table. Tony continued staring behind his shades.

Steve and Bruce entered five minutes later. They were discussing…something, but Tony was too distracted to listen. But he did see when they noticed Thor. Bruce snorted and covered his mouth to hide his laughter. The Captain dropped his water glass, which shattered on the floor.

Tony regained his voice. "Thor, why is your hair in a bunch of tiny little braids?"

Thor shook his head, the colored beads in his hair flapping. "I do not know. I awoke and it was like this. I tried for an hour, but could not get them out."

Pepper arrived with her briefcase. "Good morning, everyone." She glanced at Thor. "I like your hair. Come on, Tony, we're going to be late." She dragged her boyfriend out of the room.

Bruce and Steve looked at each other and cracked up.

In the ventilation shaft above, one Agent Barton was also shaking with quiet laughter. The Black Widow watched the scene unfold through the grate, an annoyed look on her face. "You could've included me, you know," she grumbled.

Clint smirked at her. "Sorry, Nat. It was a _solo_ mission."


End file.
